“Later. Later. Tomorrow. Next time.” Words I kept hearing throughout my childhood that eventually became integrated as a way of life. My Father would use these words as if they actually meant something. Often, the only meaning these words were given, were the opposite of what they implied.
Later never came, Tomorrow was a forgotten promise and there never was a “Next Time”. In my later years I adopted these words and used them foolishly for things that I wanted, but did not feel I was worthy of receiving.
Life decisions became difficult, passions were postponed and approaching a woman was damn near impossible. Living in a world like that creates so much anxiety and stress. It leaves you constantly questioning yourself and every decision you make that ultimately you learn to not make any at all.
As with anything, overcoming that way of thinking was a process. If we can learn things, we can unlearn them just the same. Teaching and coaching yourself are huge when it comes to breaking old patterns, but so is surrounding yourself with the right people. It took me a while, but I broke free of the chains that bound me and held me back from finding my true potential, not to mention my true love.
How did I do it? With the power of discipline. I went inside my brain, straight to my observer. You know, that level of thinking above all the rest that observes your thoughts, but does not actually make a decision. I observed the patterns of my typical reactions and then worked to alter them to something different. Electrical signals flooded a new part of my brain, making for new reactions to similar situations. Essentially, I was doing the opposite of what my normal was.
Had I read Charles Duhigg’s, The Power of Habit years earlier, I would have learned quicker how to better change old habits. Yes, that’s a plug and you can get yours here.
Don’t be fooled into thinking that you will get another chance when an opportunity presents itself to you. It is called the present because it truly is a gift. Open yourself up to the opportunities that feel right and don’t let them slide by because you think you will get another shot. Break your old habits, create new ones and start living your life the way you want it.
There may not be a next time.
by Nicholas Lucin